You groaned and lifted yourself off of the ground, wearily taking in your surroundings. Of all the stupid things to do… you fell down a well. A freaking well. Not your most graceful moment. However, despite the fact that you’re fairly sure you have a concussion, it seems that you’ve actually ended up someplace. Someplace really creepy and cliché, complete with a dark forest in the dead of night. For a second, you humorlessly think that this is something out of Alice in Wonderland, you being Alice. Instead of chasing a rabbit down a hole, though, you fall down a well due to your own clumsiness and end up in what looks like the cheesy beginning to a slasher film.
But it seems that despite being here for only a short amount of time, you’ve already received something. “What is this, a welcoming gift? How thoughtful.” You mutter sarcastically to yourself as you picked up the object that manifested at your feet. It was a manila envelope with a huge circle on the front that had an ‘x’ going through it, and inside were directions. Common sense told you to ignore the invitation and concentrate on getting out of wherever the hell you were, but you felt compelled to follow the directions anyway. Maybe they lead to a way out?
Don’t bet on it.
After a good hour of getting lost through a seemingly endless woods, you debate on taking your frustrations out on the map. The thing seemed to taunt you, with its ink blots that were supposed to represent landmarks. Or where they supposed to be territories…? With a yell you throw down the map as hard as you could manage, only to have it gently float down to the dirt, making you look kinda stupid. Giving up, you slumped down to the ground. You were tired, pissed at the map and at yourself for getting into this mess, and your head was still throbbing from your little escapade earlier.
Right now, things=not good.
While you were in full pity party mode, you didn’t notice a figure approaching your location. It was as silent and smooth as a shadow, gliding closer and closer to you, not bothering to try and be stealthy. It continued to advance on your oblivious form, snake-like appendages swiftly extending from its back. The inky tentacles slowly enclosed around you…
That is, until you decided that then would be a grand time to look up.
You were face-to-no-face with a blank, pale head, devoid of any facial features. The creature wore a crisp suit, as dark as night itself, and it took you a moment or two to register exactly who you were staring at. After another appalled second or two of gawking, you then gasped, bolted up, and ran screaming through the forest.
You proceeded to continue your lovely display of frantic flailing and yelling until you came to an abrupt halt, thanks to the tree in front of you. As you sprawled across the forest floor, you look past the offending tree to see a mansion. It was a derelict old place, but even though it appeared to be obscenely old, there were lights inside, and music pouring out from the cracks in the windows. For a minute, you have a flashback to the envelope. It was more than a map, wasn’t it? It was an invitation. But to what…? From afar, it almost seemed like a party…
Upon closer inspection, you found your assumptions to be correct. It was a party. In an old, looking-ready-to-collapse mansion. Alone in a dark forest. At night. Common sense decides now to speak up and tell you to high tail it back into the forest. You tell common sense to shut up.
Cautiously, you inch your way up to the front door, as if one wrong move could trigger an explosion or something equally painful. Every so often you’d throw a paranoid glance over your shoulder to see if the lovely thing from before was still pursuing you. To your relief, you seemed to have lost him back in the deeper area of the forest. Finally, you reached the door to the mansion. Slowly, hesitantly, you gently rap your knuckles on the wooden door. The breeze picks up slightly, making the house creak and sway in the wind. Rogue strands of your hair fly freely in cool air, your pulse picking up with each second you stay on the doorstep.
Heavy steps can be heard through the thick wood of the door as you stood there, shaking like a leaf. “What am I doing…?” you muttered to yourself.
The door swung open, and you jumped back to avoid a second encounter of your face meeting a hard object. You were bathed in light from where you stood; the music and yelling of party goers intensified. Blinking, you looked at the person who answered the door. He bore a disturbing resemblance to the being you encountered earlier. Your most prevalent thought upon this realization was something along the lines of, ‘DO NOT WANT’.
“Oh sh-“ you began, whipping around to go and bolt back to the forest, until you were stopped by a hand snagging the back of your shirt.
“Now now! Where are you going?” a cheerful, friendly voice asked, tugging you inside by the scruff of your tee. A string of profanities ran through your mind as you dug the soles of your sneakers into the floor, trying to thwart your captor’s attempts at dragging you inside the house.
“Why… are… you… being… so… difficult?” the thing asked in between yanks, each pull bringing you another foot into the abode. You yelped and struggled further, until you were plopped down on the floor. Immediately you make a dash for the door, only to have the person that answered it slam it shut. Panting, he turned to you, and only then did you really get a good look at him. He was oddly dressed (at least by your standards), wearing a black suite covered in polka dots of many different colors, a top hat on his head that was knocked askew from the previous struggle.
“May I see your invitation?” he said cheerfully. You just stared at him. “Hm? What’s the matter? Did you lose your invite?” he asked. You continued to stare dumbly at the humanoid in front of you.
“… What are you?” you blurt out, snapping out of your stupor. After looking at you for a second the thing chuckled.
“I’m Mr. Splendorman!” he said enthusiastically. “Excuse me for not introducing myself earlier! And you are…?” he asked, gesturing towards you.
“(Name)…” you murmured, paranoia beginning to sink in as your gaze jumped from Splendorman to the rest of the guests who were now eyeing you curiously. Noticing your obvious discomfort, Splendorman cleared his throat.
“Ah…you invitation, (Name)?” he asked again, experimentally waving his hand in front of your face. Confused, you look at him.
“My invitation…?” you ask, almost with an air of idiocy.
Panic hit you as you recall what happened. “Um… I don’t have my invite, Splendorman…” you said, remembering how you tossed down the map in a fit of frustration back in the forest. The map probably contained the invitation. You slightly shrunk under Splendorman’s confused gaze. Suddenly, he laughed warmly.
“You didn’t lose it! Look in your pocket!” he said, pointing to the left pocket of your jeans. Skeptical, you dove your hand down into your denim pocket, quite surprised to feel some stiff sort of cardstock. Shocked (and somewhat creeped out), you actually pull out an invitation, which was emblazoned with the same emblem as on the envelope you first received.
“See! You had it all along in your pocket, you silly!” Splendorman said as he plucked the card from your hands and steered you towards the main room. For an old, run down mansion, the place was surprisingly big. Looking back, you cast one last glance at the door.
It’ll be quite a night…
. . . .
It’s been about an hour into the party, and ever since your arrival you’ve contented yourself with sitting in the corner, huddling a lone cup of punch like a social hermit. You spoke to no one, and instinctively tensed when anyone came within ten feet of you. All sorts of freaky people and things were at this party, and what scared you even more was that you recognized almost every single one of them.
“Creepypasta… creepypasta everywhere…” you muttered to yourself as another person strut past, casting a curious glance at you before making way over to the other side of the room. You were snapped out of your reverie when the voice of Splendorman rose over the talk of the loud crowd.
“Everyone! Everyone! Gather around!” He hollered, trying to get everyone’s attention. After a minute or so, when the chatter had died down, he held up his top hat. “We’re going to play a game, as suggested by a guest.”
“What’s the game?” Someone yelled from the back of the room.
“I believe it’s called Seven Minutes in Heaven,” Splendorman replied. The effect was instantaneous. There was whooping and cat calling as guests rushed forward to put an item in the hat. Others kept to the side of the room, watching in mild amusement as some people tried to put ridiculous items in the hat, ranging from an empty beer bottle to a pair of underwear. Once most of the people participating put in an item, Splendorman began to look around the room for someone to choose to go first. You were too busy looking at the bottom of your now empty cup to notice him striding over to you. There was a lot of murmuring throughout the room as people took notice of you.
“Is she from around here?”
“I’ve never heard of her…”
“…Can I have my underwear back?”
All the whispering stopped as Splendorman stood in front of you. Sensing that something was up, you looked in front of you to find a top hat in front of your nose.
“You’ve been a wall flower ever since you got here, (Name)!” He explained. “You should go first, have some fun for once!”
You could only stare at him. Does he realize who you could be stuck with? Seven Minutes in Heaven could easily turn into Seven Minutes in Hell. But looking around at the others who were looking expectantly at you, and returning your gaze to the overzealous Splendorman, you figured that you really didn’t have a choice in the matter.
Taking a deep breath, you plunged your hand into the festive top hat, your only wish being that you didn’t die in that closet and that you don’t pull out the underwear. So…what did you pull out?